


100 Moments - Part 31-40

by orphan_account



Series: 100 Moments [4]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Sexy Zone
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-10
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-23 00:40:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 4 of my Drabbles challenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	100 Moments - Part 31-40

**Author's Note:**

> Those were mostly squeezed in between traveling and everything, so if they aren't any good, forgive me. Most of them are pretty pointless ^^'  
> I also added an entry I wrote for the J&A Anon Summer Kink Meme. I know it's supposed to be anonymous and all, but hey, I dont think it will hurt to out myself here ^^'  
> Anyways, hope you enjoy it!

31\. Friendship – Fuma’s POV

In an agency like ours, working so close with Kohais and Senpais, of course you grew friends with each other quickly. But the problem was, we were all also rivals – rivals about bands and debuts and sales figures and drama roles. 

Most of the time, I did not mind this much, but there were moments when you could not help but notice. Like when we had been “Nakayama Yuma & B.I. Shadow” and even though I knew that he had had nothing to do with it, I was a little jealous at the way Yuma got more attention than all of us combined. 

Or when we debuted as Sexy Zone, leaving Hokuto and Yugo behind. I knew both of them did not hold it against us, but there had just been these moments when Hokuto had avoided my eyes, or when Yugo’s laughter had been a little too stiff…

Yes, we were all rivals, when it came down to it. 

And then, there was Nakajima, who I had never really considered as anything but a partner. I had never put much thought into it until one time, when Fukuzawa had asked me backstage all of a sudden: “Don’t you sometimes get pissed off with Nakajima?”

“Huh?” I had asked unintelligently, seriously confused what he was talking about, and Fukuzawa had continued: “Well, I mean, I really appreciate Hikaru, but sometimes, I’m just annoyed that it’s all the time _him_ getting all the attention. I know it’s not his fault, but… I just feel frustrated” he concluded, frowning. “And I can’t imagine what it must be like to have a camera-catcher like Nakajima as a band member. I starred with him in one drama only and he seems like on a different level than all the rest of us. So doesn’t it annoy you sometimes?”

“… No?” I said carefully, feeling uncomfortable under Fukuzawa’s probing stare. “I mean, sure, he does get a lot of attention, but he is the leader of the band, and with that, he also takes a lot of responsibility. And if he’s popular, the rest of the band comes into focus, too. So really, I think it balances out?”

“Must be nice, to be able to think that way” Fukuzawa chuckled. “Maybe I’ll come to that point too if we debut someday?”

I shrugged, frown still present on my face. It made me wonder _why_ I never got jealous about Nakajima’s attention. Because really, he was in focus most of the time when it came to our group activities, and even worse since he got that drama role… Still, it had never bothered me much. 

_Why?_

“Say, Nakajima” I murmured a few days later, in a break between photo shoots and interviews, mouth still full with my bento. “Do you see me as your rival?”

“Of course I do” Nakajima shrugged immediately, looking up at me. When I only stared at him dumbly, he elaborated: “It’s the way we balance each other out. We push and pull and motivate each other so that we both always strive for perfection. It’s a good thing.”

“But I’ve never felt, you know, _threatened_ by your success” I protested. “If we’re rivals, shouldn’t I?”

“That’s because we’re best friends” he shrugged, munching away on his own lunch again. “Because we’ve known each other for so long and trust each other, there’s no reason to feel threatened, is there? It’s the right mix of rivalry and friendship that counts.”

“Like a balance?” I murmured, nodding because in my head, what he said made actually sense.

“Why?” Nakajima chuckled, raising an eyebrow at me curiously. “Who told you to hate me? Sou?”

“No!” I laughed, throwing my paper tissue at him. “Just forget I asked, okay?!”

“Ehhh?!” Nakajima groaned, trying to tease an answer out of me, but I only grinned, hoping for Fukuzawa that maybe, he would find a partner like mine, too, at some point. 

One with whom things like rivalry just didn’t matter.

32\. Snow – Kento’s POV

“Seriously!” I called, looking at the mess my band members had managed to create in the short time I had left our photo shoot location for a toilet break, turning it into a snow battle field. “What the heck are you-“

I came only that far before a snow ball hit me right in the face. I coughed and wiped the icy stuff out of my eyes, having my suspicions on Fuma as Marius high-fived him. 

I looked over to Shori, who had frozen mid-throw, eyes darting between me and Fuma, and nodded to him. 

“Give him a _good one_ ” I demanded, and Shori grinned before hell started to break loose again. 

It was me, Shori and Sou against Fuma and Marius at first, but somehow Fuma managed to threaten Sou into changing teams, and then, somehow I was on my back with Fuma straddling me and soaping my face with snow, and yeah, needless to say we had lost. 

At least the photographer seemed pleased by our outbreak of playfulness, saying it turned out much better than the original idea he had had. And it was fun, too, apart from the shivers that ran up and down my spine due to being soaked by the melting snow. 

A thorough shower did sadly not help much, either, I realized as I came back into the dressing room an hour later, wrapped up in sweater and jacket and still freezing. Everyone else had left; only Fuma was still waiting for me, sitting slumped into his chair, lazily typing away on his phone.

“There you are!” he frowned, looking up at me. “You took so long today!”

“Sorry” I murmured, making a face as I packed my things quickly. The frown on Fuma’s face was still present as he watched me, slipping his phone into his pocket absentmindedly. 

“Your face is all red” he commented quietly, making me freeze. “Are you alright?”

“Huh?” I only brought out in confusion, and Fuma reached out to brush my bangs out of the way, feeling the skin of my forehead. 

“You’re burning up!” he groaned, standing up, his voice alarmed. “Why did you not tell me that you’re not feeling well?! I would have-“

“What? Not tried to choke me with snow?” I chuckled, and Fuma glared at me. “I was fine until earlier, it was only after the photoshoot that I started to freeze like crazy, don’t know where that suddenly came from…” I shrugged, continuing to collect my things. 

When I looked up again, Fuma had thrown his jacket over my shoulders, and was snatching my bag out of my hand. 

“I’ll take you home” he murmured, not looking at me. “Since it’s kind of my fault.”

“Aww, I always knew you had a gentlemanly streak in you” I teased, and Fuma glared again, but his eyes only widened when I shrugged out of his jacket again. “But I don’t need this. It’s minus degrees outside, you will catch something too if you go without jacket.” 

There was a short discussion, in which Fuma managed to at least tie his scarf around my neck, and then we were off. 

Seriously, I did not need Fuma to take me home, it was not like I was going to collapse any moment, but it was nice anyways, having Fuma there to take care of me. I enjoyed the gentleness in his touch when he nudged me into the right direction, or the probing looks from the side. It made me want to be selfish and play out my sickness to make him stay, but I was afraid that my not-so-tiny-anymore crush on him would become too obvious when I did, so I kept quiet mostly, letting him fuss over me in silence. 

There were things I did not need to voice out loud, though, with him watching over me like this. So when shivers repeatedly ran up and down my spine as we sat next to each other in the train, of course, Fuma noticed. I would have been surprised if he hadn’t.

What took me off guard though was when he suddenly, almost abruptly, as if he had struggled about it inwardly for minutes, moved closer to me, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me into him.

I quickly looked around – our wagon was almost empty, apart from a granny who was sitting opposite of us, and a mother with a whining child at the other end. Then I looked up at Fuma again, but he was avoiding my gaze, his face very red, though probably not as red as mine. 

“I’m sorry you’re feeling cold because of me” he murmured, and I had to smile, a warm feeling spreading through my chest that had nothing to do with the fever. 

“It’s okay, you can warm me up” I smirked, and Fuma elbowed me into the ribs, but did not pull away. He did also not resist when I entwined our fingers, which made me think that maybe, I was not quite so alone with my crush, after all.

33\. Temptation – Fuma’s POV

“Move closer” the photographer called, and my hand balled into a fist as everything inside of me clenched. Before I could say anything, though, Nakajima had already thrown an arm around me, and called something back at the photographer, of which I did not understand a word, not when Nakajima’s breath tickled my ear from how close we were. 

After that, I was sentenced to 14 minutes of being pressed into Nakajima, with him giving the camera seducing glances and kissy faces right next to me, and me trying to control my shaking fingers from just reaching out to him and ravaging his lips right in front of the freaking Poporo crew. 

This guy was a danger for himself. Seriously.

When we were finally released, I let out a sigh of relief. I fled into the dressing room, realizing too late that Nakajima had followed right after me. 

“Are you okay, Fuma?” he enquired, his hand on my shoulder as he searched my face. “You seemed tense just now.”

I clenched my fist again, closing my eyes and counting inwardly to 5, but when Nakajima just squeezed my shoulder and called my name again, my body acted on its own.

Nakajima gasped when I captured his lips with mine, engaging him in a rough kiss. At first, he was too shocked to respond, but after a moment, I felt his arms around my shoulders, and it gave me shivers down my spine.

When we broke apart, I murmured, a little out of breath: “That’s what you get, for always rubbing off on me like that. How much self control do you think I have?!”

Nakajima smirked, murmuring: “If I had known that it affects you this much, I would have done this way sooner.”

And before his words had caught up with my brain, he leaned in to kiss me again.

34\. Autumn – Kento’s POV

“It’s your fault!” I whined, kicking off my shoes as I shook my head, probably spraying water everywhere like a dog, but right now I did not care, with the way I was soaked to the bones from the rain. “How could you manage to lose both your _and_ my umbrella over the day?!”

“You know you’re not supposed to lend me things!” Fuma groaned. 

“I will remind you of that next time when it’s raining and you ‘just want to go to SevenEleven to grab a bite’” I murmured, tapping through the corridor, probably leaving a trail of water behind me. My mother would be pleased. I really _hated_ autumn. “Next time, no quick bites. Forget it.”

“Well, now you learned your lesson” Fuma shrugged, trotting after me, like always not admitting to being in the wrong. I just rolled my eyes and pushed open the door to the bathroom. 

“Whatever” I murmured, turning to him. “I’m going to shower now.”

“And me?!” Fuma demanded testily. 

“There are towels and dry clothes in my room. Take whatever you need” I shrugged, and stuck out my tongue at him when he glared. “See you in a few” I returned smugly before closing the door into his face.

I undressed in the speed of lightning, almost jumping under the hot spray. I was so relieved as the hot water hit my skin that I did almost not hear the door open. I needed a few moments, before I took note of the movement in the bathroom. 

“Fuma?” I called, blinking. “What-?”

Instead of answering, Fuma just slipped under the shower with me, pinching me into the ribs so I would move to share the spray with him. 

“It’s freaking _cold_ ” he groaned pointedly when I raised an eyebrow at him. “You can’t just leave me out there by myself while you get all cosy under the shower. Forget it.”

“And what do we tell my mother if she comes home and finds us in the shower together?” I frowned. Because sure, Fuma and I had been more than friends for a while now, but it was not like anyone but us knew about that. 

“The truth?” he frowned, but his eyes were a little hesitant as they rested on mine. “I mean, that we were having hot shower sex, of course.”

The corners of my mouth twitched, but I pointed out drily: “We’re not having hot shower sex.”

Fuma grinned, before pulling me into him.

“Well, then it’s time to change that.”

35\. Unity – Fuma’s POV

I needed a while to notice it, but now that I really paid attention to it, I had to admit that our band, Sexy Zone, had really grown into a good team. 

At the beginning, it had been nothing but awkward, with the obvious difference in age and experience between Nakajima and me and the younger ones. I had been reluctant as well, to get too involved with them, still kind of angry that B.I. Shadow had just been broken apart for a band with a bunch of kids. 

But now, things had really become comfortable. Shori was actually talking and joking around, and not just sitting quietly in a corner and not daring to look anyone in the eyes. Marius did not stutter every 5 words in his nervousness to interact with us. And Sou… Well, he was even more annoying than he used to be. 

But it was nice, to be honest. We had managed to create a good atmosphere in which I felt at home. It was like I had gotten a bunch of younger brothers suddenly, and even if they were a pain sometimes, you could not help but watch over them fondly. 

I don’t know when things had changed, but now that I realized they had, I was sure that it all came down to one person drawing the strings. 

Nakajima had always been a sucker for harmony. And it was not like I had missed all the times he had stayed behind with Marius for further practice, or the way he had invited Shori out repeatedly just to make him loosen up. He had a subtle way of doing things, but obviously, it had been effective, and now that I thought about it, I realized how thankful we all should be to him for the way he had managed to lead our thrown together combination of members to become a real band with a growing bond.

“You know” I murmured one day after practice, when everyone else had already left and it was only Nakajima and me who were still packing our things together. “You’re kind of a good leader, after all.”

Nakajima blinked, then looked at me with a frown, as if contemplating if he had heard me right or if maybe I was coming down with something that I was actually going out of my way to praise him. Oh _fuck_ , come on. 

“I just wanted to say thank you” I shrugged, blushing under his searching gaze. “I know I’m not saying things like these often, but you’re really doing a good job, and by now… I’m kind of proud to be a member of this band. And I think that’s mostly up to you.”

I looked up from my bag again hesitantly to see a soft smile spreading across Nakajima’s face.

“Thank you” he murmured, licking his lips in a nervous gesture as his eyes darted to the side and back to me in obvious embarrassment. “It’s weird, to hear such things from you.”

“I know” I chuckled. “Don’t expect me to make it a habit.”

“I won’t” Nakajima smirked. “It won’t be special anymore if you say it all the time. I’ll just mark every day in my calendar from now on so I’ll remember them.”

I elbowed him in the ribs and Nakajima laughed. I could not wipe the smile off my face even if I tried, though.

36\. Hurt – Kento’s POV

“Say, Kento-Kun, Fuma-Kun…” Shori murmured, looking hesitantly to Sou and Marius next to him on the couch, who were nodding as if in encouragement. “Is everything alright with you two? Lately, you have been… I don’t know… A little bit not talking. And it’s starting to worry us.”

The tense atmosphere in the dressing room became even more tense, and I shot a quick look at Fuma, who seemed positively frozen in his tracks, staring at the hair spray in his hand as if it was the most intimidating thing he had ever encountered. 

So yeah, obviously, it was my turn to answer again, since Fuma was apparently not that good at talking anyways. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” I shrugged, picking up the last few things from the table and stuffing them into my bag. “Everything is fine.”

“Oh really?” Sou returned, raising an eyebrow at me. “Tell me one word you exchanged in the last week.”

I rolled my eyes, not falling for his bait. Anyways, what could I have answered? What they were saying was totally true, of course. It was only a little hard to tell them the reason. 

“You’re totally imagining things. You should put your creativity into writing songs or dramas or _fanfictions_ , for all I care, but please don’t let it out on us.”

I only realized how harsh my words had sounded when Shori and Marius exchanged scared gazes, but it was hard, to wipe the bitterness out of my voice. 

Because seriously, when Fuma had so determinedly hushed up what had happened last week until now, I was in no mood to discuss the state of things in front of the whole band. 

So I just grabbed my bag and shouldered it, murmuring a tired: “Well, see you tomorrow” before turning for the door.

For a moment, I kind of hoped that Fuma would speak up and stop me, but he didn’t. He never did. What did I even hope for anymore?

As I made my way over to the train station, I allowed myself to remember what I had tried so hard to forget this past week. 

It had all happened last Tuesday after work. Fuma and I had been in a good mood and in the end, he had come over to my house for a spontaneous movie night. It was then, that we had somehow gotten too close… Too much laughing and fooling around had led to too much touching, too much intimacy…

And suddenly, we had been kissing. I was not sure anymore how it had happened, but we had laid next to each other on my bed, totally focused on each other instead of the movie, and then, we had been all in each other’s personal space, and I had on a wink crossed the distance between us and pressed our lips together.

And it had felt so good. It had been bliss for a few, totally perfect moments, and I was very sure that I had not imagined Fuma returning the kiss. Because you did not pull someone close when you really want to push him away. Or run your fingers through his hair. Or kiss him for what was surely at least a minute, I would bet everything for it.

But then, suddenly, it had all been gone. Fuma had pulled away, and then, he had been up and across the room in light speed, murmuring things that were not even proper sentences, and had stormed out of the door.

Since then, Fuma had not even looked me in the eyes once. I had tried to talk to him. I had tried to get him alone after work, but he had mumbled excuses and run. I had tried calling him, but he had never picked up my calls. I had texted him, telling him that I was sorry and trying to take things back… But still, Fuma had not as much as acknowledged me for a whole week. Until I had just stopped trying. 

And for all this time, I had felt like I was dying inside. Because seriously, I did not want to take anything back. I did not want to pretend nothing had happened. Because it had, and Fuma could play all cool and drawn back, but he could not deny that there had been something going on between us for a while. That we had been too close to just be friends anymore. And that he had fucking kissed me back, and that it had felt amazing. 

It was not all just in my head. Only that by now, I kind of started to believe that it was. And it made me feel ridiculous and small, like a stupid ex girlfriend that did not understand that she was dumped. Only worse, because Fuma and I had never been a couple in the first place. 

Still, it hurt more than I could have ever imagined. So much that I had to bite my lip and busy myself with my phone to not start crying in the freaking train home. 

Fuma was my best friend. The person I had always felt closest to. Being ignored by him like this, it was just… It wasn’t fair. It honestly wasn’t. And I hated him for it. 

I was just trying to check my university mails, hoping work would distract me from my mess of feelings, when suddenly, Fuma’s name flashed up on my display. I stared at it for a moment, blinking, before anger flared up inside of me and I pressed “reject”. 

Because seriously, what the fuck?! Here I had tried to talk to him for _days_ and he had not even as much as _looked_ at me and _now_ he wanted to talk?!

All the way home I continued staring at my phone, but Fuma did not try to call again. Maybe I was not important enough for him to try reaching out to me harder. 

Or maybe, I rationalized, he had just pressed a wrong button. Maybe he had not even meant to call me in the first place and would have hung up if I had really answered the phone. 

That turned out to not be the case though, I realized when later that night, my mother knocked on my door, opening it to reveal a very uncomfortable looking Fuma next to her.

“Someone has been lingering in front of our door when I brought out the trash, not daring to ring the door bell” she said pointedly, looking back between me and Fuma. “So I thought I’d bring him in, before the neighbors call the police.”

I rolled my eyes, turning back to the homework I had been so desperately trying to distract myself with, seeing out of the corner of my eyes how my mother practically shoved Fuma into the room before closing the door behind him.

There was a moment of tensed silence in which I pretended to read and Fuma stared at his feet. 

Then, he murmured a weak: “Hey” When I did not answer, he continued, almost conversationally: “You know, I called you earlier.”

“I know” I said drily, continuing to stare at the same spot of my book without actually reading the words.

“Oh” he just whispered, and my jaw clenched as I still refused to look at him. “Well, I just thought… you know… we should talk.” When I did not remove my eyes from my book, he murmured exasperatedly: “Gosh Nakajima, can you please just look at me?!”

At that, I slammed my book shut forcefully. Fuma flinched at the noise.

“You want to talk?!” I called, turning to him to send him a glare that made him avoid my gaze again. “I _tried_ to talk to you, for days, and you just ignored me like my _gayness_ was catching or whatever. So excuse my lack of enthusiasm now that you finally found your balls.” 

Fuma held his breath at my choice of words, and yeah, it had never been voiced this openly between us, but now at least it was out. Only that now Fuma was looking at his shoes again instead of me, and yeah, I really had no patience for this.

“Say what you want to say!” I groaned, glaring at him. “Or if not, whatever, get out and don’t waste my time.”

Fuma gulped, before looking up at me again. I looked away when his eyes met mine, though, not ready for this kind of contact yet. 

“I’m sorry” he said quietly, and his voice was shaking. “I know I was unfair to you. I-“

“ _Unfair?!”_ I interrupted him angrily. “That’s the understatement of the year.”

“I-“

“For _days_ , I tried to talk to you, Fuma, and you never as much as even looked at me!”

“I know, I-“

“You left me all to myself, with all my messed up feelings because yeah, I fucking have feelings for you and I am fucking scared about that and you absolutely do not give a shit, and-“

“That’s not true!” Fuma protested, this time more loudly. “I just… I was scared too, and-“

“THEN WHY DID YOU RUN?!” I called, feeling the tears crawling up my throat again. Oh fuck it. “We could have talked about it. All I wanted was to hear you say that I’m not crazy. That I’m not just imagining all of this. And you just-“

Suddenly, I felt Fuma’s arms around me, and I froze, holding my breath. 

“I’m sorry” he murmured quietly, his lips so close to my ear that I could feel his breath on them. “I’m really sorry, Kento. I know I should have talked to you. I know I hurt you with the way I’ve been running from you this past week… It is just… I was so _scared_ of what would happen if I faced you. Of what I was feeling for you.”

I bit my lip, fighting against the wave of tears, and Fuma seemed to sense it because he held me even tighter. 

“You’ve not imagined anything” he murmured, still as quietly. “And nothing of it is your fault. You are awesome… Too awesome for me to take. It feels too good, being with you. I should not be feeling that way.”

“Translation: You are a freaking coward” I groaned, but it did not sound as vehement as I had hoped for with the sob in my voice. 

“Yes, I am” he nodded, before leaning his head against mine. “But I’m not running anymore now.”

I closed my eyes tightly, trying to keep my tears from flowing, and even when Fuma pulled away a little to look at my face, I did not open them.

“Kento” he murmured, stroking my cheek. “Please, look at me.” When I refused to react, he cupped my cheekbone and whispered: “I’m really sorry. I’m not going to hurt you like this again. I really… I think I love you, Kento. I’m sorry I did not admit to it sooner.”

At those words, I could not help the small sob that escaped my lips, and there was a moment of silence before I felt Fuma’s lips capture mine again gently.

This second kiss did not feel as blissful as the first one – it was full of sore feelings and desperation and through that, somehow even more intense. When we pulled away, I finally opened my eyes to find Fuma looking at me. 

“Can you please forgive me for being a coward?” he murmured carefully. “I swear it won’t happen again.”

I took an unsteady breath and crossed the distance between us again to answer with another kiss. 

So yeah, Fuma was a coward when it came to his own feelings, and I was not sure if that would ever change. But at least, he would be _my coward_ from nowon.

37.Truth – Fuma’s POV

Kento and I did not fight often, barely ever, even, but when we did, it was mostly my fault, and I was totally aware of that. It was just that sometimes, I did not know how to express myself properly – Kento was always talking, always found the right words, never keeping anything in. I got embarrassed and awkward and messed up in the most important moments, and sometimes, I stumbled all over Kento’s feelings with that. 

Tonight was one of those nights, when Kento had hung up on me during our earlier call because I had once again been unable to make things clear. 

So I forced myself to sit down with a paper, dead-set on writing the most sincere letter I had ever written, putting everything on paper what I had so many difficulties to say out loud. I ended up writing 6 pages, and when I looked at the clock, it was past midnight. 

The next day, I carried the letter around with me all throughout work, unsure if I should really give it to him, but finally forcing myself to slip it into his bag. I had not written pages over pages just to chicken out, after all.

The unplanned part happened, though, when Juri, Hokuto and Yugo stormed our dressing room, creating an uproar and a mess. I had not thought much of it, when Kento had rummaged through his things to find some university papers he had apparently copied for Hokuto, until suddenly, he had my letter in my hand, unfolding it with a frown.

Before the realization of what he was reading had sunken in, Juri had already looked over his shoulder, his eyes becoming wide. 

“ _A dictionary to Kikuchi Fuma_?” he read, and everyone’s head turned to me in the speed of lightning, the conversations falling silent. 

Feeling all the heat rush to my face, I tried to snatch for the paper, in the same moment as Kento, apparently having realized that what he was holding was not meant for a broader audience, tried to stuff it back into his bag. 

In the end, it landed in Hokuto’s hands, though, who managed to lay hands on it through our confusion and share the pages between him and Juri. 

“ _I know I’m crap at expressing myself, so here is a small reminder that what I’m saying is not always what I mean”_ Hokuto read, and Yugo gushed while peaking over his shoulder.

 _“When I say ‘You’re too noisy’ I mean ‘I want you to talk to me only all day long. Don’t pay so much attention to others’”_ Juri recited. 

“ _’You’re childish’ means ‘I love your laughter’”_ Hokuto continued. 

_“’Let’s not tell everyone just yet’ means ‘I’m afraid anything might pressure us in any way. I just want to enjoy being with you.’_ Awww, Fuma!” Juri sighed. “This is the cutest thing I have ever read, seriously.”

“So, I guess there is no denying that there’s something going on between you two anymore” Yugo shrugged, smirking. “You have my heartfelt blessings.”

I only glared at them, snatching the papers from a laughing Hokuto and a slightly intimidated looking Juri, and stormed out of the room. Kento was right behind me.

“Hey, those are mine!” he said stubbornly as he had caught up with me, snatching the letter back and folding it neatly. 

I looked at him hesitantly, and Kento cracked a smile, murmuring a quiet: “Thank you. You’re forgiven.”

My heart jumped a little and I thought that maybe, the whole making-a-fool-of-myself was worth it, in the end.

Because it was the truth. I just _loved_ Kento’s smiles.

38\. Rouge – Kento’s POV

I already had an ungood feeling, when my doorbell rang at half past midnight. It was not that I had been in bed already – I had been caught up in that song I had recently started writing and had been unable to stop myself despite the late hour – but yeah, spontaneous visits at this time of the day had never been any good. 

So I was not surprised when I opened the door to face a Fuma who looked like a complete mess – hair wild, probably from running his fingers through it like he did usually did when he was frustrated, eyes red and puffy, his lip sore from biting them. 

“I’m sorry to burst in so suddenly” he whispered, his voice cracking. “But I just-“

He did not need to finish the sentence. It was not the first time he had stood in front of my door in the middle of the night, needing someone to talk to. It made me happy that he confided in me this much, because I knew he hated showing his weaknesses to anyone, but it was just… just that I hated the _reason_ for these spontaneous visits too much to really appreciate them. 

But instead of voicing this out loud, I just stepped aside in a silent invitation. Fuma entered my apartment, kicking off his shoes and making himself at home immediately, plopping down on the sofa and burying his face in a pillow. 

I inconspicuously gathered the papers on the table and packed them away. No need for him to see the lyrics just yet. It would only lead to uncomfortable questions. Instead, I asked: “What happened?”

“We fought” he murmured, into the pillow, but I still caught his voice, muffled as it was. 

“I figured that much” I sighed, sitting down next to him, wearily watching his crouched figure. “You always come here after you do.” I hope he did not hear the unspoken words between the lines: _You only come to me when she hurts you_. 

Fuma had been a mess like this regularly for about 2 months now, and it was getting harder and harder for me to just sit back and watch. It had started when he had co-starred with this upcoming actress in his new drama, and he had immediately fallen head-over-heels for her. For a few incredibly difficult weeks, he had been gushing like a love sick puppy, and when he had finally found the guts to ask her out, and she had agreed, his smile had been so bright that it had been hard for me to even look at him. 

It was then, that he had found out that she already had a boyfriend. Someone else from the industry, someone bigger than Fuma would probably ever become as an actor, and someone so busy that she claimed to feel “left behind” by him. 

Since then, Fuma had let himself been dragged back and forth in this secret affair by this girl who claimed to love him, but still was unable to break up with that other guy. 

When Fuma had first told me about it, I had called him insane. Because seriously, no girl was worth being treated like this. And above all Fuma, who had always put so much importance to his pride, who had always put himself first…

“But I love her” he had whispered when I had told him to leave her, his eyes filled with sudden tears, and it had choked me with my words. “I can’t help it…”

Since then, I had been sentenced to play the help line for Fuma every time he fought with her, or she stood him up because her boyfriend had called in last-minute… When all I wanted was to slap that girl senseless for treating him this way. 

When Fuma did not react, I asked with a patience I didn’t really feel: “What is it about this time?”

“I told her to break up with him” Fuma murmured, looking up from the pillow. Everything inside of me tightened when I saw that he had tears in his eyes again. “But she refused and then… it kind of got out of hand.”

I only nodded, watching how Fuma bit his lip again, trying to fight his new wave of tears.

“Say, Kento, why can’t I just be enough for her?” he murmured brokenly. “What am I doing wrong?”

I took a deep breath and balled my hand into a fist, trying to keep myself together. Because seriously, all I wanted was to shake him, to scream at him that he was _more than enough_ , that he was perfect in every way and that this girl was just too stupid to see that. 

That if I could, I would hold him close and never let him go again, and that this girl who had him but did not treasure him must be the silliest girl on earth. 

But I told him neither of this. Instead, I murmured, for the xth time: “You should just break up with her. She is no good for you.”

“I know” he whispered, closing his eyes and resting his head against the pillow again, as if he just wanted to sleep and shut the world off. “I know that, but…”

He let the sentence hang in the air, but he did not need to finish it. I could hear the words anyways.

 _I love her_.

It made me feel sick to the bones. Because yeah, I knew that feeling. I knew how it felt to love someone despite all logic and sense, to not be able to withdraw yourself no matter how much it hurt. 

And that person was sitting right next to me now. 

As I focused on his face, I noticed how his breathing started to even out a little, and he started to relax.

“Ne, Kento” he murmured, not really opening his eyes. “You mind if I crash here? I don’t want to go home.” 

I nodded, murmuring: “Of course” when he did still not open his eyes. Even more quietly, I added: “You know you are always welcome here.”

Fuma smiled a little, stretching himself out on the couch and opening his eyes for a moment to say: “I don’t know what I would do without you. Seriously.”

I knew it was an expression of appreciation, but it hurt like a knife right in my chest. So instead of answering, I just stood up to search a blanket for him. 

When I came back, he was already fast asleep. I could not help but kneel down in front of the couch after I had pulled the blanket over him, brushing his hair out of his face. 

“This girl is so stupid” I whispered, finally speaking out the words I could never tell him when he was awake. “You deserve so much better. I hate to see you suffer like this.” I bit my lip before bending down to kiss his temple softly. “If it were me, I’d treat you so much better” I breathed. “If you’d just let me, I’d… I’d never let you go. I love you, Fuma.” 

I took an unsteady breath, taking his scent in for one more moment before pulling away. 

When I looked at his face, his eyes were wide open, staring up at me in shock.

39\. Champagne – Fuma’s POV

When Yugo and Hokuto had turned up at our dressing room door with a bottle of champagne and demanding to celebrate Nakajima’s birthday together at his house, I had still found it amusing. 

When they had started to fill him up with alcohol and he broke into little laughing fits for nothing, I had found it a tiny bit adorable, even. Not that I would voice that out loud.

But now that I had missed my last train and Hokuto and Yugo were gone and I was sentenced to spend the night with a totally wasted Nakajima Kento, I found it a little worrying. 

Even more because he just wouldn’t understand why I did _not_ want to sleep in his bed with him. 

“I’m too lazy to get a futon” he whined, clinging to my sweatshirt and shaking my shoulder in a whiny manner, only that he was far more instable than me at the moment, so it was more like he was shaking himself. “And my parents are already sleeping.”

“I don’t think they are sleeping with the way you are making a ruckus here” I shot back drily, sounding calmer than I felt when he leaned his head on my shoulder, letting out a frustrated huff that let his breath tickle my neck.

“Fumatan” he moaned. “You can’t just make me drunk and then leave me all alone. That’s irre… re… how is the word? You know. Not fair.” 

“It was not me who brought the alcohol” I reminded him. “It was Yugo. And Hokuto kept refilling your glass. And by the way, it’s not leaving you alone when I am sleeping on the floor.”

“Yes, it is” Nakajima argued, his hands clumsily finding their way around my waist and clinging to me. 

I took a deep breath, trying to think clearly with the way I could feel his warm body against mine, and his breath against my skin. 

There was a moment of silence in which I tried to ignore my racing heartbeat and Nakajima just relaxed against me, his breathing evening out a little. When he did not move anymore at all and his head became heavy on my shoulder, I murmured “Nakajima?”, but there was no reaction. 

Carefully, I tried to lay him on the bed and disentangle myself from his grip in the process, but it was impossible with the way he was clinging to me even in his sleep, so we ended up crashing both to the matrices in a jumble of limbs. 

Nakajima still didn’t wake up, and I felt a little sick when I looked at his sleeping face and couldn’t help noticing how nice he looked like this, and how good it felt to be this close to him.

I knew I was in trouble. Damn Hokuto and Yugo. And damn this stupid champagne.

40\. Fake – Fuma’s POV

It kept getting harder and harder for me to look at Nakajima Kento recently. 

He had been my partner practically from the day I had joined the agency. First something like a big brother. Than my best friend. The one who probably knew me the best, and who I had also though that I knew better than anyone else. 

But lately, this guy playing out dates with random girls in front of the camera, flirting with everything and everyone and throwing these perfect smiles around like weapons, that was _not_ the Nakajima Kento I knew. 

My Kento cried over silly insecurities backstage when we were alone. He had nasty habits like everyone else, but I liked it that way, because it had made him _human_. Not that perfect prince he tried to be on stage. 

Recently, when I looked at his stage personality, only one word came to my mind: _Fake._

It was only when we were alone backstage after rehearsal, and I looked at him and he just seemed so freaking _tired_ , that I decided to speak up.

“You know, you don’t need to try so hard” I murmured, making Kento look up at me in confusion, but I did not meet his eyes, too embarrassed to really look at him. “I like you just the way you are. And I bet the fans do, too. So stop pressuring yourself so much.”

There was a short silence, and when I finally dared to meet his gaze, Kento had a soft smile on his lips, a _real one_ , and I thought that maybe, _my_ Kento was still inside there somewhere, after all.

“Say, are you free tonight?” he asked instead of answering. “I need a movie night.”

I smirked and nodded. 

_Special:_ Entry for J &A Anon Kink Meme  
  
 _Prompt:_ **Pairing:** FumaKen; **Kink:** rough sex...; **Extra:** ... but love and fluff in the end  


  
Originally posted here: http://je-anonficmeme.dreamwidth.org/2369.html?thread=1059905

Kento’s POV

I usually counted myself as a calm and reasonable guy; I as good as never fought with my friends, and even when I was annoyed and frustrated, I rather gulped it down and smiled instead of letting it out on other people.

But even I had my limits. I had had a bad day as it was, barely having slept because of that paper I had wanted to finish for university, barely having been able to concentrate during the lectures… The least I could take now was Fuma snapping at me because of some ridiculous shit I did not even understand.

I had only frowned at him, the first time it had happened, but otherwise had held my composure, aware of Marius looking back and forth between us with those big puppy dog eyes. The second time it had happened, Shori had looked at Fuma as if he had grown a second head, and I had closed my eyes and inwardly counted to 10 before continuing like I had not even heard Fuma’s biting tone.

The third time, though, when rehearsal was over and I was already aware that I had been incredibly slow at picking up the dance steps and had surely held the whole process back with it and then Fuma had AGAIN raised his voice for reasons I did still not quite understand… yeah… let’s say it was hard not to keep my calm.

Before I knew it, I had turned to him and shouted at him in a volume that had Sou drop open bottle into Shori’s lap, and Marius looking like his parents had just let him in on the news of their divorce. Only it was hard to care, at the moment, when my adrenalin was running so high that it was all I could do not to take the chair next to me and throw it right into Fuma’s face.

It was Shori, who carefully lead the two younger ones out of the dressing room, carefully not to intervene in our shouting match, of which, I had to seriously admit, I still had no clue of the reason. I only knew that Fuma was screaming something about my drama filming and other Juniors and me being a “fucking flirtative bitch” and I saw red.

I am honestly not sure what had happened next but I suddenly found myself pinned against the door with Fuma’s lips on mine, kissing my so hard that it felt like my lips were bruising from it. As soon as I realized what was happening, I was about to push him away, telling him that this was not the moment and I was not in the fucking mood (literally), when Fuma grabbed hold of my wrist and pinned them above my head in one of his own hands, biting my lip and moving so hard against me that I was not quite sure where Fuma’s body began and mine stopped, and yeah, maybe it felt a little good, after all.

I moaned when Fuma’s free hand roughly palmed my erection through my tracksuit pants, murmuring something incomprehensible against my lips of which I only caught “Iwamoto” and “mine”, but did not have the mind to question it when Fuma’s lips moved to my neck next, biting down not so gently.

My own hands started to hurt from the way Fuma was still holding them immobile over my head, but every time I only started the try to voice a complaint, Fuma found a new place to bite into my skin or suck until he left marks, and then his hand found his way into my pants and around my cock and from thereon I lost all coherency anyways.  
Again, I was not quite sure what happened next, but I suddenly found myself facing the door, bracing myself against the wood as Fuma pushed into me, making me groan in a mixture of pain and passion.

“Ass” I breathed. “You could have at least lubed yourself or something!”

“Do you think I carry those things around?!” Fuma returned, his voice torn between snapping at me and moaning as he thrust deep into me. “But you probably do, knowing you…”

“I still don’t-“ I groaned, my hand balling into a fist against the door as Fuma hit my prostrate dead-on with his next thrust. “- understand what’s your-“ I whimpered as he bit into my shoulder, one of his hands sneaking around my torso to twitch a nipple. “fucking problem.”

“My problem?!” Fuma snapped, snapping his hips forward more forcefully, making me bite my lip to keep from screaming out. “My problem is that you fucking flirt with every fucking Kohai and Senpai that crosses your way, and I know it’s all for work, but sometimes it’s just enough, and I swear, if Iwamoto touches you one more time he will have a bloody nose and you won’t be able to walk for a week!”

I was not sure if I would be able to walk normally after today already, but instead of pointing that out, I collected all the brain cells that had not given up all work yet to bring out: “Are you jealous?! Is that what this is about?!”

“Yes!” Fuma groaned, his thrusts becoming faster and more forceful, pushing me totally into the wall with every thrust. “You only figured that out now?!”

I was going to retort something about how Fuma is hard to understand when he always kept everything in until he burst instead of actually talking about his feelings, but the sentence was too articulate to actually bring out in my momentary condition.

Instead I moaned helplessly and leaned my cheek against the door, somehow thankful it was there because it kept me strangely grounded, and then, Fuma’s hand sneaked around my hip and grabbed my erection, quickly jerking me off as his thrusts became faster… and I came in a wracked moan, my knees almost giving out completely as my orgasm raced through me, and I would have probably collapsed if Fuma had not held me upright, still thrusting into me until he found his release shortly after, clinging to me like I was his lifeline.

There was nothing but our panting to be heard as we came down from our highs, and when Fuma actually moved out of me, I sank to the floor, all strength leaving my body.  
It took me off guard, when Fuma sank down with me, pulling me into a gentle hug. We were silent for a few more moments before Fuma whispered quietly: “Sorry. I guess I went overboard.”

“A little” I admitted, leaning against him, his strong arms comforting now. “Seriously, do you really think you have any reason to be jealous?!”

Fuma sighed, and I felt his lips against my temple, kissing me softly before murmuring against my skin: “No. I trust you and I know that you are one of the most loyal person’s in this whole damn jimusho… But sometimes, it’s hard to watch everyone nearly go out of their mind at your attention. Sometimes, I just want to grab you and kiss you in front of the whole assembly and remind them that you’re mine.”

“They know I’m yours” I smiled, closing my eyes and letting Fuma pull me further against him. “It’s an open secret how much you really mean to me, all fanservice and everything aside.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t stop them from becoming all hearty eyed when you as much as look at them” Fuma grumbled, and I chuckled.

“You are the only one who gets to see me like this” I murmured, opening my eyes to finally meet his. “I don’t want anyone but you. Just trust me.”

“I do” Fuma nodded, before leaning down to catch my bruised lips with his again, this time in a much more gentle kiss.

When Shori, Sou and Marius returned to the dressing room, carefully peaking inside before actually daring to enter the room, both Fuma and I were fully dressed again and packing our things to leave.

“Did you make up?” Marius asked hopefully, and both Fuma and I smiled and nodded good-humoredly.

“Thank god!” he babbled. “I mean, it was scary, you’re never fighting, and-“

Fuma and I caught eyes and smirked at each other before I bend down to put on my street shoes, flinching a little as a sharp pain flared up my spine.

“Kento-Kun, are you okay?” Shori asked worriedly, and Sou rolled his eyes, murmuring: “Please do us a favor and don’t ask, okay?!”

“Why?” Marius looked at him, blinking, and I ignored my pain for the sake of getting out of this dressing room as quickly as possible.

Fuma was right after me, grinning contently.  


**Author's Note:**

> Please leave me some love, I need it <3


End file.
